†• Urban Legends - Get a laugh •†

The train stops here - A man was riding a train to an important dinner one night when he has realized he was on hte wrong train. So when he saw his stoip nearing, the man got in a doorway and readied to jump, not wanting to miss his important dinner. As he started to run and took his jump, and landed on the ground running. Before he could stop himself a conductor standing in a passing car grabbed his collar and pulled him back into the train. He said, "You're lucky I saw you, don't you know the train doesn't stop here?"

Hitting Note - A man returned from shopping to find that his car had been hit and there was a dent. There was no one in sight. He was getting a little angry that someone would hit and run. As he got closer to his car he started to feel relieved. He noticed a note under his windsheild wiper. He started to feel bad for doubting the honesty of the average person. He pulled the note free and read it which said "The people watching me think I am leaving my name and address, but I'm not."

The Perfect Bird - A man had sent his mom a very expencive bird that was tought to quote all her favorite bible verses. When he later asked her what she thought of the bird, she said "Delicious."

Feeling the Mechanic - A woman returned home one day to discover some hairly legs sticking out from under one of the family cars. The woman thought that her husband finally got around to fixing the car. She reached up his leg and gave him a "bit of a fondle." Then she walked into the kitchen to see her husband standing there. Very embarrassed she ran back out to the car where she found the mechanic under the car passed out from hitting his head in surprise of her act.

Love Notes in Court - A female witness was too embarrassed to repeat the obscenity the defendany had said to her, so the judge told her to write it down. She did, and the judge told the jury to pass it around for everyone to read. The last man in the jury had fallen asleep, so the very pretty young woman next to him woke him up and handed him the note. He read it, very shocked and started to fold it up. The judge asked that he would hand it to the bailiff. The man replied "Your honor, I am sorry but this note is a private matter between the young lady and myself."

Car Farts - A woman was very nervous about her first date with a man that she had been attracted to for a long time. When he came to the door, she had started to feel gassy and thought to herself that the chili that she had for lunch wasn't a good idea. Being a polite gentalman, he carefully put her in the car and shut the door just then she farted loudly and quickly opened the window and began fanning it out the window. She was horrified when he got in and pointed to the backseat saying "Have you met Ruth and Bob?"

Shocking Music - A woman came home one day to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to get him away from the jolts, she gradded a 2x4 and smacked him with it. Breaking his arm in 2 places. Until that moment of being hit with a 2x4, he had been happly listening to his walkman.

Busy Hands - As an attractive female hair dresser was cleaning up shop to close a sweaty little man knocked on the door and asked if her could please get a quick trim. She didn't want to, but she did to be polite. She quickly began to cut his hair. As she was finishing up she noticed that under the covering that she had put on him to catch the hair his hands were moving up and down in his lap. Furious, she grabbed a large curling iron from the shelf and knocked him out. She called the police and when they arrived they had asked why she had attacked him. She told them to look under the sheet. The offiicer pulled the sheet away and said "Lady, there is no law agaisnt a man polishing his eyeglasses."

Red Handed - A drunk man was pulled over one night by a police officer. As he was trying to walk a straight line the officer heard a crash in a new by ally. The officer told the man to wait there and he would be back. The man thought it was silly after waiting a while to keep waiting. So he decided just to drive home. The next day the officer showed up at the man's house. But the man stuck to his story that he was home all night. The policeman demanded that he open the garage door. The man did, wondering what the policeman hoped to find. He realized his mistake when he saw the police car in his garage. The policeman was too embarassed that he didn't take the man in or press charges.

Lifted Wallet - A man was going for his daily jog when another jogger lightly bumped into him. The other jogger excused himself and jogged off. Already annoyed the man noticed his wallet was missing, so he ran quickly after the other jogger, he cought up to him and tackled him, yelling "Give me that wallet!" The frightened pickpocket gave it up and ran off. When the man returned home his wife asked him if he had stopped at the store. Anxious to tell her his story he said "No, but I have a good excuse!" His wife answered him by saying "I know, you left your wallet on the dresser."

Young VS Old - An old lady was waiting for a car to pull out of a parking space at a crowded grocery store one day. When the car had pulled out and she was getting ready to pull in, another car darted in the space before she did. A teenager hopped out of the car and said to the old woman "I am younger and faster than you lady." The old woman sat there for a second and then rammed the kid's car. As she backs uo and gets ready to drive off, she yells at the teen, "I am older and better insured than you kid."

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